Have you ever had that feeling? The feeling like your walking on air. When you feel like you have this huge glowing ball inside of you making you smile all the time. When you feel like your heart keeps getting bigger, and bigger and soon it will just explode right out of you. The feeling when you can't stop being happy...no matter what. The feeling of being in love.
Well, have you?
I know, for sure, that I haven't, and I want, almost more than anything, to feel that. I've had my fair share of school-girl crushes. They've never lasted more than a few days. I'll decide that I "like" them, but then, as I begin to watch them closer I see all of their faults and immediately any attraction is lost.
I've had celebrity crushes. Completely based off of looks and their characters personalities, they weren't love. My love for the youtubers charlieissocoollike, whataboutadam, nerimon, johnnydurham19, and many others is strong, but it's not being in love. Sure, I would've given almost anything to hug them, or just touch their hair, but I know that their is no possible way for that happening. I love them SO much but, alas, I'm not truly in love.
I want the kind of love that my sister has. When ever she talks about her boyfriend she gets this giant smile on her face, and she doesn't even realize she's smiling until I point it out.
I want the kind of love that paytotheorderofofof2 (off of youtube people call her "Emily") has. She has all of these people telling her to break up with her boyfriend because he's different. Does she listen? No. They love each other and that's all that matters.
I don't think that I'll ever get that kind of love. Sure, I'm only thirteen and I have loads of things ahead of me but, I set my standards too high. I want to find someone kind, intelligent, and who likes the same things that I do. I'm not the kind of girl who can afford high standards. I don't see why anyone in the world could possibly love me. {Whining starts NOW} I'm not attractive, I'm very...strange, I'm loud/talkative/obnoxious, I'm incredibly opinionated and stubborn*. People say that when your in-love you can look past all these faults in a person, but it just doesn't seem possible. I don't know.
*I'm not saying being opinionated is a fault. I'm saying that if a person were to look past the ugly/strange/obnoxious side of me, and they had a completely different opinion than me on something major, there would be many debates. Some people like to try to keep the peace and wouldn't like that.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment